Dear Heidi,

The holidays are supposed to be fun but my parents are divorced and they fight about who gets to have me on Christmas day. It makes me sad and sometimes I don’t want to celebrate anything. No one asks we what I want. The grown-ups just worry about if they are getting “their time” with me. What about my time?

Dear Friend, I am sorry that you are in the middle of this. Grown-ups sometimes forget that you are are aware of what they are doing. Remember that you are not at fault for your parent’s behavior.

Some things you could do:

• show the grown-ups this letter to help them understand how you are feelingl
• ask why the 25th is so important. Can you celebrate the weekend before or after? Or celebrate on New years?

As a kid there are a lot of things that you don’t have control over. The best you can do is express your feelings and learn from your parents behavior. Learn that the way you treat others and the way you talk impacts everyone around you.

Arguing in a way that is hurtful just spreads anger and unkindness. Use your anger and frustration to drive you to act better than your parents. Use that motivation to spread kindness and love. Be sure to show them this post. Maybe they will think about their behavior.

My best wishes for a peaceful holiday.

Your friend, Heidi