Many people have the idea that the need to be happy all the time and, they need to keep their children happy. If they are not happy there must be something wrong with them. Life is full of hills and valleys (sometimes mountains and canyons). But that is the stuff of life. It is hard to notice happiness when you never experience sadness. Without the ups and downs life would be flat.
It is not your job to keep your children happy. A parent’s job is to make sure that their children are healthy and safe. Children will find happiness themselves. Have you seen how children react when they see bubbles? or a mud puddle? or a kitten or puppy? They delight in the everyday things because children live in the moment. It you have a playground with a hill, chances are the kids are going to roll down the hill. When they get to the bottom, they are dizzy and laughing like crazy. Again, living in the moment. (side note- rolling down hills is good for their vestibular system) .
What do you value?
Happiness also has to do with your value system. Adults need to think about what they truly value. Money, vacations, a big house? Or do they value time with loved ones, hobbies, quiet time, time alone? Are their values connected to their self-worth?
When you put your value in things, you are stuck in the cycle of always wanting more. Things can easily be lost, stolen, broken etc. Stuff has to be taken care of, stored, it takes up space, it may take money to maintain, and may become obsolete. Relationships and experiences come with support and memories. You may outgrow relationships and move on to other ones and that is ok. But having relationships and experiences creates memories and a relationship safety net.
Do you remember what you got for Christmas last year? Maybe. Do your kids remember what they got? Probably not. Do they remember baking cookies and the time you got frosting on your nose. Yes!
What are some things that make me happy? Time with my family and friends. Drinking coffee and reading a book while the cat snuggles on my lap. Walking in a forest. Experiencing new places and new foods. Watching children try something new. Butterflies and of course, hedgehogs.
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