Parents and caregivers sometimes ask themselves, ” Does my child need therapy?” Therapy is the place to allow both the child and adult to talk openly about their feelings. Ignoring uncomfortable feelings does not help. Learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings in a safe and calm place helps the child learn that feelings are normal. It can also help the adult be aware of how they present their own feelings in front of the child.

Adults: Do you remember when you were little and someone told you to stop crying? How about when you were upset about something and someone said it wasn’t a big deal? That is an example of not having your feelings validated.

When your child is upset that is a good time to say, ” I see that you are upset. I am here if you need me”. You don’t need to solve your child’s problem. They may want you to just listen.

When a child is overwhelmed they may shut their eyes and cover their ears. They are not trying to be defiant. This is a sign that they are overstimulated and are trying to regulate themselves. This is not the time to lecture them or say you are going to take their electronics away. What your child needs in this moment os a calm adult to co regulate with them.

Part of therapy is learning different ways to parent. They way your parents raised you may have been great but it may not be working for your child. The way your parents raised you may not have been so great. Therapy is an opportunity to learn new way of being with yourself and your child.