To give you the best definition of Synergetic play therapy here is the site link. I simply describe synergetic play therapy as therapy that focuses on the caregiver/child bond and how our ability to recognize or regulate our emotions impacts other people.

For example, if a child is scared and the adult also reacts with fear both people will continue to feel scared or feel more scared. This might be helpful if you are fleeing a dangerous situation and need your energy to run. Not helpful when the goal is to help the child feel connected and safe with the adult.

What do children do during play therapy?

Children are open to choose what they do in therapy. The therapist reflects how the child is feelings and talks about how they are feeling or how the characters in the play are feeling. The therapist may ask what the character needs to feel safe. The parent is observing how to connect with the child and with their own emotions.

How are adults part of play therapy?

This is related to the aggression post I posted earlier. In synergetic play therapy adults are encouraged to recognize the child’s feelings, validate them, and help the child understand how the adult also feels.

“You feel sad because our dog died. I feel sad about that too. It is ok to feel sad. I miss him. Sometimes it helps me feel better when I look at pictures of him. Would you like to look at pictures of him? Or we could sit in the rocking chair together?”. The adult can mention how their body feels when they are sad, crying, tired, not hungry etc. And also ask the child how their body feels when they are sad.

Synergetic play therapy helps both the adult and child bring awareness to their body’s reactions. Many adults learn about themselves in Synergetic play therapy. Many did not realize that they were taught to ignore their feelings as children and continue that into adulthood.

What does the therapist do in therapy?

As a therapist I encourage adults to think of how the emotional expectations during their childhood impact them as parents.

• was crying considered annoying to adults?
• did they feel safe expressing their feelings?
• Who was allowed to cry?
• If you cried were you threatened with punishment? “If you don’t stop crying, I will give you something to cry about.”
• Were you allowed to show anger as a child? Loud voice, crossed arms, stomping feet, or was that showing disrespect?

How will what you learned in childhood impact how you care for your child?