Many parents or teachers might answer the above question about being good with words like: quiet, compliant, doesn’t talk back. There is nothing wrong with being quiet, but we also need to allow children to speak up if they need to. They need to push back to find out the boundaries. It helps them learn to push back against people who may not have the best intentions.

I recently read a post about unintentionally teaching children that being being good = compliant. It is important that children know that even if they are loud and ask questions all the time, they are good human beings. Advocating for yourself or having opinions is not bad.

I did an earlier post about talking back and how it is a part of pushing boundaries and learning to speak up for yourself. Most of the time it needs to be done respectfully. But if someone is trying to get them to do something they know they should not be doing, they can skip the polite part of the interaction.

Book Recommendation

This book is about daring to be yourself. You don’t have to fit into a mold of what the “perfect” child is. There are times to correct your child’s behavior and times to allow their personality to shine through. I have always loved the phrase “Well behaved women rarely make history”. We get new ideas and sometimes challenge harmful social norms when we ask questions. Challenging the idea of “We have always done it this way” makes some people uncomfortable but it is how we improve the world to include everyone.

Imagine if no one had ever challenged the idea that girls should not go to school. Or people with special needs should not have the right to go to school or have ramps or other accommodations to enter buildings. People of color having their voting rights restricted. Women not being able to manage their own money. People or certain races or religions have to live in specific areas. Keep asking questions and challenging the status quo.